What Can We Learn From A Dancing Toddler?

When a toddler listens to music, they dance.  What can we learn from this? No one taught them to dance, no one taught them that when we hear music, we can dance, this is just a natural instinct we have to move to music. The toddler doesn’t care where they are, if others are watching, if others are judging and what others are thinking. They just simple dance and move to the music.

What can we learn from a toddler? Babies and toddlers have likely not yet been bombarded with experiences with others that teach them to fear what others may think, to filter out who they are to be sure others are ok with who they are. They have not yet learned to change who they are, push their feelings down, avoid being criticized and laughed at. This image of a dancing toddler reminds us that we all have inside of us, the part of ourselves that would dance, laugh, try something new, explore, risk, and just “be” who we authentically are if we hadn’t learned not too. It’s a part of ourselves that is confident, and unharmed from the experiences in our lives. And while we can’t live our lives without experiencing pain, hurt, loss etc., it can be helpful to remember this version of ourselves, before we learned to hide who we are from others and maybe get curious about the parts of our authentic selves we’d like to reconnect with.

What Can We Learn from a Dancing Toddler

Have you ever watched a toddler dance to music? It’s pure joy in motion. No one teaches them how to respond when they hear a beat. There’s no one explaining, “When you hear music, you can move your body like this.” And yet, when music plays, they instinctively dance. They move with freedom,  unburdened by self-consciousness. They don’t care who is watching or what others may think. They simply dance.

As adults, what can we learn from this simple, beautiful moment?

Toddlers, unscathed by the judgments of others, haven't yet internalized the fear of what people might think of them. They haven’t learned to hold back parts of themselves to avoid criticism, ridicule, or rejection. They haven’t yet absorbed the unspoken rules of how to “fit in” or mask their true selves. In this way, toddlers embody a natural sense of “self as context”—a key concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

In ACT, “self as context” refers to the perspective of being the observer of our experiences rather than being defined by them. This means we can notice our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without getting wrapped up in them. Much like a toddler dancing, we can experience life fully without allowing judgments, fears, or comparisons to define us.

For many of us, as we grow, we begin to develop narratives about who we are—often based on our fears, past wounds and societal expectations. These stories can hold us back from truly expressing ourselves or taking risks. And at some point, we might even begin to buy into the “self” that others expect of us. But the concept of self as context helps us remember that there is a part of us, beyond those narratives, that is untouched by life’s challenges. It is a part of us that is always present, capable of embracing the here and now without getting bogged down by our internal struggles.

Reconnecting with Your Authentic Self-

Watching a toddler dance reminds us that deep within ourselves is that same carefree spirit—a part of us that wants to laugh, move, create, explore, and just ‘be’.  This part of us, unburdened by judgment or past wounds, is still there. It’s the part of you that would take that dance class without worrying about looking silly. It’s the part of you that would voice an opinion or try something new without the fear of failure. This is your authentic self, untouched by the social conditioning and emotional armor we all begin to build over time.

While we can’t avoid life’s challenges—pain, loss, criticism, or fear—we can reconnect with that authentic self by remembering it’s always there, just beneath the surface.

Getting Curious-

Through self as context, we can get curious about the parts of ourselves we’ve hidden away for fear of judgment or rejection. What would it be like to allow those parts to resurface, even in small ways? Could you take a moment to dance, like that toddler, simply because it feels good? Could you laugh more freely, try something new, or allow yourself to feel joy without worrying about what others think?

The practice of reconnecting with your authentic self isn’t about rejecting the pain, fear, or criticism you’ve experienced—it’s about noticing those things without letting them define you. It’s about honoring the whole of who you are, including the part that can still feel free to dance.

So the next time you hear music, ask yourself: What would a toddler do?